When the idea of anal sex was first proposed by my ex-boyfriend about a year into our relationship, I wanted to run about a thousand miles. I’m tiny, and the thought of his dick in my ass seemed scary as fuck to say the least. “Just try it; if you don’t like it, that’s fine.” he said.
Make sure you want it
If you’re not super raging horny, the first few times are probably going to fucking suck. Get him to eat you out first (or whatever gets you going). If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. You’ll probably hate it.
Trip to the loo.
Don’t you want a horror story of shit stains and poo on the floor? Poo about an hour before you have anal and make sure you’re fully empty. You may think being empty enough is fine, but that little bit that you couldn’t get out will come out in a semi-liquid form when he pulls out if you don’t push it out now. Not empty? Wait and try later. I also suggest you don’t have anal after eating as if it takes some time, you may find you feel like you need to go again, and you may experience some stomach pains.
It’s a good idea to go to the toilet after anal too. You may think it’s just gas (and it might be), but chances are you’ve got a little golden nugget trying to escape, and you can finally let it. Note: You should probably stay close to the toilet for the next few hours… just in case.
Plenty of lube
Yes, all the sites say this and they’re entirely right. Plenty of lube is essential. You can get real anal lubes that relax/slightly desensitise your butthole to minimise any discomfort. Thicker lubes don’t dry out as quickly, so if you’re repulsed by it’s gloopy feel, you should probably be using it. I’d also recommend getting a lube syringe to insert lube into your bum as I found that actually trying to get the penis in my arse caused a lot of the lube put on the dick to come off, so by the time it was in it wasn’t enough. It worked for a while and then began to burn. Having lube inside you also seems to make insertion easier as your partner’s path is then already lubricated. Just don’t put too much (and I mean too much, still be generous) in because that made my butt feel terrible.
Work your way up
For me, preparation for anal came way (we’re talking months) before anal. First came the fingering of my bum with a bit of spit. I was very reluctant at first, but after a while it became a regular, comfortable, and even nice feeling… until your partner forgets to cut their nails of course. Not long after, I got a present in the form of 3 butt plugs. Shit just got real. The butt plugs were in three sizes and while the smallest didn’t look particularly daunting, it didn’t look like it’d be exceptionally comfortable either. We popped it in and worked up to the medium-sized plug (with plenty of lube), which was a little smaller than my ex’s penis and therefore seemed like it would be the best indicator of what I was in for. It hurt like hell to put in and felt uncomfortable, I took it out almost immediately and it felt like I was pooping (I wasn’t). Now remember, butt plugs are super smooth and, with a bit of lube, will glide in almost gracefully. However, dicks do not possess the same soft, graduated shape, and the tip is the widest and worst part.
It was pretty uncomfortable when he first put the tip in, but that was expected. With time, the small butt plug became a tease, the medium one to this day is still mildly uncomfortable to put in, but once it’s in it’s fine (and same with the penis really- the tip is still the hardest part, but once it’s in we’re all good). I haven’t even unwrapped the larger one and don’t think I ever will, it looks like it’d be a good weapon in the event of a burglary though. Now, while I worked my way up over a few months, you should try and do the same even if it’s only throughout one evening.
Open the door
Yup, your backdoor. I recommend sitting with a medium-sized butt plug in for 20 minutes to half an hour before getting down to it. You can still play with each other during this time, but it helps open up your hole and makes insertion a breeze. Before I started doing this I did everything else in this blog, but anal was still discomforting and sometimes painful. It wasn’t until I started opening up pre-sex that I really started to enjoy and appreciate anal and all the wild orgasms it gave me. It’s a bit tedious, but it’s the safest bet to pain-free sex.
Start on your side
When you’re experiencing discomfort, the last thing you want to do is move, especially towards the thing sparking your feelings of pain. While most guides suggest starting in doggy, I recommend you start on your side, relax and let him do the work while you get used to the sensation. Spooning also brings you closer, so you might feel more comforted if you’re that way inclined (a little bitch). I’d recommend trying this to completion a few times before trying out different positions. Even now, I usually start on my side to reacquaint myself with the feeling before moving into another position. Plus, who doesn’t get a raging lady boner with neck kisses? No matter what position you choose, do it on a towel. If there are any accidents, you can just chuck it in the wash after (just like period sex).
Take it slow
You will not be able to re-act an anal porno on your first try. Take it slow, and make sure he’s not trying to break the speed limit. If he is, despite what you say, give up. He cares more about getting off than about you. If you want to be able to control the speed, get on top. In time, you can pick up speed, just be careful not to go too fast/deep before you’re ready.
Play with yourself
You might need a little extra help when it comes to anal (pun intended). Rubbing your clit during anal sex produces a sensation that I can only describe as magical, so put those fingers to work.
Before you know it, it’s all said and done. You’ve cum, he’s cum, you probably feel slightly dick drunk. You’ve had one (or several) of the most incredible orgasms of your life and you’ve tried something new.