Getting Started
The starting point is obvious: create your profile. Ensure that you upload at least one picture of yourself (people don’t want to talk to a grey face), and write something that reflects who you are as a person and what kind of person you are looking for. When writing your bio, don’t tell your life story – a short paragraph or two will do. It is also better not to focus too much on appearance when saying what kind of person YOU are and what type of person you’re looking for.
Whilst attraction is important, focusing entirely on appearance does not open up the gates to romance very well. Describing your perfect date (both the activity and the person) helps receive messages from the people you really want to hear from.
How To Talk To Potential Dates
Initiating conversations with strangers can be a little nerve-wracking, especially if you’re not keen on small talk. Be sure to check out someone’s bio before you actually speak to them – you may be attracted to them, but you won’t get anywhere if you have nothing in common to talk about! Although it is dreaded by some, small talk is generally a good place to start just to break the ice.
Remember not to talk to someone in a way that you would never normally talk to a stranger because, at this point, this is what they are. A compliment is nice and perfectly acceptable, but going over the top just seems a bit stalker-ish and desperate (Note: telling someone how ‘sexy’ they are etc. right off is creepy and inappropriate!). Once you have introduced yourself, you’re set to start talking about the things that will really help you to get to know one another.
Avoiding Time Wasters
The main way to avoid time wasters is to spend a sufficient amount of time speaking to someone before arranging to meet up with them. This will give you a good idea of whether or not you will get on well with that person in real life and hopefully secure a second date or more!
Speaking of awkward dates, catfishing is a problem that you really do not want to get into (and unfortunately, I speak from experience). If you choose to put other contact details on your profile (such as your Kik name), ask the person you are speaking to to send you impromptu photos to prove that they are who they are. It may seem extreme, but you could ask the person to hold up a piece of paper with your name written on it, or something similar.
Zooming a potential date is another excellent way of ensuring that your date is not a faker and testing the chemistry between you. Free-flowing conversation is a reassuring sign that you will be in good company when you go on that all-important first date.
Long Distance Relationships
You may find that the person you’ve got heart eyes for does not live in the same area as you (or at least relatively nearby). At this point, you will have to consider whether a long-distance relationship is right for you. Things to think about are the likelihood of jealousy issues, how well both of you will be able to commit to each other when you’re not able to see each other as often as you’d like, and the cost of travelling to see your partner. This is by no means intended to put you off entering a long-distance relationship – they can be incredibly rewarding and with the proper communication, your relationship will be as strong (if not stronger) than any other.
Knowing When To Leave The Site
Once you’ve found your potential significant other, you will be debating whether or not suggesting an exclusive relationship between the two of you is too risky. My advice would be to follow your instincts, and answer some vital questions: have you enjoyed the time that you have spent with your date so far? Have they expressed a genuine interest in you? Can you see yourself committing to this person and continuing to enjoy being in their company over time? If you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions, go ahead and ask for that exclusive relationship.